The Guff

Bye-Bye Facebook Hush-Hush

In The Pile on March 21, 2011 at 1:27 pm

The Anti-Facebook. Well kind of.

Facebook appears to have done a pretty jolly job of transitioning the entire real world social experience into the digital era. You can log-in, chat with you friends, browse  through photos and all that other web 2.0 nonsense. Heck, with the ‘Facebook Memories’ function you’ll soon be able to reminisce with accuracy like never before. Brilliant huh? Well, kinda.

You see i’ve always felt like somethings were missing on Facebook. Today, I think I saw an aspect of what it maybe be. I think it’s bitching. But don’t worry would-be cyber bitches, today is your lucky day! Bitching is coming to Facebook. Well, kinda.

With the help of your online social experiences can now finally be complete and wholesome with all of their angst/jealousy fueled glory! Yes that’s right, now enables you to bitch, gossip and otherwise betray all your closest friends from the comfort of your armchair! What’s more, all of this angry, unproductive venting can now be done with complete anonymity! No more “oh boy, this comment sure is going to bite me in the ass tomorrow” panic pangs for you! You can call Julie a fat slob and James a pathetic loser and sleep easy at night while they scratch their heads pondering what the fuck they’ve done wrong!

Careful though, what goes around comes around and it’s important that you can keep a track of what the bitches are saying about you; that’s why allows you to track not only all the snarky remarks made about your friends, but all of them directed at you as well!

Hmm,this might be kinda interesting to watch. Let’s have a look at some of the comments made already:

“Fuck you. You think you have the perfect little life (and you do) but that’s why I hate you.. and ppl like you. You think you can just walk all over us poor, not-as-smart-as-you ppl and get away with it so, thanks for not being there when I needed you cuz you decided you were better than me. Fuck youuuu”

Oh boy. This should be very very interesting! Here’s another:

“I am such an easy-going person. I have never LOATHED anyone before this chick. She was my bff and then I caught her in a lie, accidentally. When confronted she said she’d make my life a living hell. And that she did, she ICED me out of all my friendships. I hate her. I want to beat the shit out of her, but I won’t. I’ve got responsibilities and I can’t afford to be in jail.”

Well that sure is something you wouldn’t see on Facebook.

Now, this probably isn’t the missing ingredient to Facebook that’ll make me finally consider joining. Hell, it’s probably not even going to cause that big a stir outside tech/int circles. But it sure should produce some entertaining, honest commentary.

Anyway, haven’t you got something you should be doing just now? Like obsessively compulsively refreshing the site waiting for the first ‘torpedo ‘o truth” aimed squarely at you?

Smell ya’ later.

  1. Love it. Our children will enjoy cyber-bullying at a whole new level. I’m going to buck against the trend and write disparaging remarks about myself. Beat the buggers to it, AND do it more eloquently

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