The Guff

School Bus Molesation Drama Continues

In The Pile on April 8, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Oh boy, things can only get worse from here.

Coming to a courtroom near you

“Illegal questioning by cops, insufficient forensic evidence and conflicting stories from defendants all lead to a not guilty verdict at the Dubai Court of First Instance yesterday for three men accused of molesting a four-year-old girl on a school bus.” – 7Days

It’s like The Boy Who Cried Wolf meets The Salem Witch Trials.

I really can’t understand how the case has taken this long to be thrown out of court when the entire story involved such huge plot holes, e.g:

  1. The forensic report shows the girl is still a virgin
  2. One of the accused wasn’t even on the damn school bus

Only in Dubai I tell you.

Gadget Fragmentation & Potential Unification

In The Pile on April 6, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I have a lot of gadgets. I have an iPhone (version 3), an iPod touch (version 2), an iPad (version 1), a MacBook (circa 2009), a Sony E-reader (haven’t a clue which one), some crazy 3D/television glasses, an old HTC phone, a pocket projector, a PSP (version 1), an Xbox 360 + Kinect and a no-name brand TV.

I know, i’ve got a load of shit. Truth be told the only things I really use are my laptop and tablet. I love the others individually, but they’re generally overpowered by something else. For instance, why use an e-reader when I have an iPad? Why use a PSP/iTouch when I have an Xbox 360 + Kinect? It’s a terrible shame. I probably own more spare gadgetry than most of Africa will see in their lifetime.

But all this money may not be completely lost and wasted! Recent developments at both Apple and Samsung suggest our fragmented array of gadgets may yet become whole again. Yes, we’re entering the land of sharing lions. Or, more accurately Mac OSX Lion and Samsung All Share.

Whilst i’ve heard a lot about Apple and their lions already (as an apple fan), i’m pretty unaware of Samsung and All Share. So I decided to put down the iPad, tie my boots and go observe the Samsung’s latest unveilings.

Samsung SMART TV

Samsung showcased their latest 3D televisions at the Fashion Catwalk in Dubai Mall today. 3D functionality is relatively mundane however compared to the new features these televisions offer. Forget 3D, it’s all about the SMART.

Don’t ask me why it’s capitalised, I couldn’t tell you. But I can tell you plenty about what this “SMART”ness actually constitutes. SMART televisions include Samsung Apps, AllShare, Search All, Social TV, Web Browser, Second TV and hopefully, the ability to watch a little bit of telly.

Enough buzz terms for ya’? Thought so. Let’s translate some of this into actual English. Introducing the PR->Plain English translator, courtesy of Google Translate (no i’m just kidding, i’ve made all this up).

  • Samsung Apps = Around about 300-400 apps built specifically for Samsung TVs. I haven’t seen nor heard about a single one of them and i’m going to assume that the majority of them are the usual suspects e.g YouTube, Twitter, Generic American Newspaper etc. I’ll be interested to see how many of these apps have been created within the region.
  • AllShare = The capability of the SMART TVs to interact with Samsung phones, tablets, notebooks and digital cameras. Think AirPlay. For example, you can use your Galaxy Tab as your television remote control.
  • Search All = Ability to search the Internet and connected devices.
  • Social TV = Allows you to use Facebook, Twitter and Google Talk to chat with friends who are watching the same content. (I’ll be interested to see how many people use this versus their phone)
  • Web Browser = I’ll let you guess this one. No, it’s not a vending machine.
  • Second TV = Allows  Galaxy Tabs and Samsung smartphones to stream content straight from the SMART TV and vice versa.


Samsung SMART TV

Now, I’d be tempted to summarize this event as “Come see our latest smartphones SMART TVs”, but that wouldn’t quite do it justice. Sure, it’s easy to look at this new technology and say, “well, so what”. But “well, so what” seems to have herladed many of techs current trends (Twitter, tablets, location-based tools etc.). The event today is as much a launch of the SMART TV concept as it is their latest televisions (which are typically superb quality btw).

It’s our job to take this awesome tech, intergrate it into our lives and see what works.

Childish Gambiono: EP

In The Pile on April 5, 2011 at 11:13 pm

“All right

Gambino is a mastermind, fuck a bitch to pass the time

Mass appeal, orange rinds, smoke your green, I’m spendin’ mine

The beat is witches’ brew, but beware this hit is potent

e.e. cummin’ on her face, now this poetry is motion” – Freaks and Geeks

Needless to say this isn’t music for the easily offended. And it’s not normally my cup of tea either, but Childish Gambino has something I want. He’s got fire.

Donald Glover, A.K.A Childish Gambino

No, i’m not a pyromaniac, I just have a thing for sparks. Don’t ask me to point them out for you, I can’t see them. But if you ask me to feel them for you? Well, you’ll have a hard time getting me to shut up.

I’ll be the first to admit “EP” is by no means a masterpiece. It carries many of hip-hop’s less appealing staples (excessive cursing, misogynistic language etc.) and some of the lyrics really are cringe-worthy. But I guess you have to take the good with the bad. Certain parts of the mixtape piss me off and pleasure me in equal measure.

“I don’t fuck with fake bitches except for when I fuck with fake bitches

Canon 5D to take pictures of these girls who wouldn’t talk to me a year ago

49er chick askin’ for money, she get zero, though

Here I go again talkin’ money, women, and clothes, and cars, right?

You could switch all of my words out with Plies’, right?

People sayin’ we’re the same, please, come from under me

We are just some rappers, got no luxury of subtlety

No subjects when we’re rappin’, we say it like we hear it

I put it on a track but I hope you get the spirit ‘cause

I don’t wanna be alone” – Be Alone

Yet there are other occasions when I can ignore the non-conformist lyricism and whole-heartedly agree with what Glover has to say.

“The ride is easy when the dollar’s there to grease the wheels” – Be Alone”

“Like when these niggas call me “faggot” and “we homies now”

But we are not homies, I just keep you around ‘

Cause all your talkin’ is the noise I need to kill this sound

Have all these voices tellin’ me no one can help me out

We are alone I’m just the only one to figure out” – Be Alone

So whilst I find myself simultaneously loving and loathing the lyrics, the backing tracks and arrangements are right up my alley. The production makes me think of a paired down Kanye West. All of the tracks make great use of momentum and pacing.

There’s something about this EP that I can’t quite put my finger on. The lyrics are great in places but shoddy in others, the music is smooth and suits its purpose, yet the whole thing seems so much more grandiose. The only conclusion I can draw is that Glover himself is responsible.

“EP” can be downloaded from here for free. I recommend it to those of you who don’t mind explicit language and guilty pleasures.

About Childish Gambino

Childish Gambino is a musical side-project of Donald Glover. Glover is an American actor, writer and comedian.